In the beginning, the derby gods created the skaters and the officials. The game was formless and void, and darkness was over the surface of the track. And the spirit of the fairplay and safety was hovering over all.
And the derby gods said, “Let there be rules,” and there were rules.
The derby gods blessed them and said to the officials, “Be fruitful, skate the infield and make the calls of penalties. Have dominion over the blockers of the pack, the pivots of the stripe, the jammers of the star, and the coaches of the bench. May you be the keepers of the paperwork and of the statistics, and the protectors of the sanctity of time.”
And it was so.
The derby gods saw all that they had made, and behold, it was awesome.
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